Life with Phobia: Associations

Words I’ve always used to describe my relationship with fish:

  • Terror

  • Fear

  • Panic

  • Trauma

  • Disgusting/gross/sickening

In the last six months, but especially through EMDR I’ve started to associate fish with these words/descriptions:

  • Pathetic

  • Humiliation

  • Shame

  • Burden

  • Trapped

  • Unsafe (to be a fish is to be unsafe)

  • Powerlessness

  • Connection

  • Homeward (fish have an understanding of ‘home’)

  • Motherhood

  • Womb (womb experience as an aquatic being)

  • Undesirable

The second list feels like freedom compared to the first list; there’s understanding. I see the disowned parts of myself in fish. I see myself in fish.

Life with PhobiaNic Alea