Life with Phobia: Connecting Dots
Journal entry on December 16, 2018:
Did I develop a phobia because I had to go to the extreme to be emotionally recognized by my parents?
Dad recognizes the reality; has never triggered me with fish but has also never asked me about it / moved towards me to understand
Mom triggers me so much with fish it almost seems like she’s doing it on purpose; seems to desperately want an emotional connection with me —> triggering me causes an emotional connection, though not in the way she wants; it’s unloving and could lead to connection but —> she doesn’t know how to apologize (“great, I’m the bad guy again!” “you take it too seriously”, “I forgot!”)